Easter 2011

Disneyland! ..for the last time.

Topanga Canyon

A couple of weekends ago, the boy and I took an afternoon to go up to Topanga Canyon.. we did a little shopping, a little lunching, and ended up walking around some of the hiking trails.

Okay, maybe we just walked the main path because maybe the grounds were really muddy and maybe I wasn't prepared for a workout...

But we did come across these spiderwebs covered in water droplets.. and crouched down on the ground to photograph them. Not a perspective you get every day.

My Grandmother's Funeral

I suppose I should have written about this last week but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

It's funny, going back to your life after something like that. I didn't live near my grandmother, so in some ways.. it sort of feels the same as before, until all of a sudden you're hit with the realization that "actually no.. it's not the same."

Yesterday, I was reminded of her all day long.

My Uncle posted something about her on the blog we created for her, written by Bart Gragg: "We Lost A Great Lady This Week." ..friends called to check in on me, to ask me how my family was. Thank you :) Thank you all for your support and for loving us. And I spoke with my Aunt and we shared with each other how we're processing things, differently, in our own ways. How it still feels surreal.. how it feels abnormal to be adjusting back into our daily routines.

At the funeral, there was a giant board with her photo in the middle.. and people were encouraged to write down one word that reminded them of her. I wrote "SHOES!" My 6 year old cousin, Judy, wrote "Butter!!!!!!" and the list went on and on and on.. Above are some of the words others wrote.. "Encourager" "A witty, wonderful woman" "Spontaneous!"

top right: My dad spoke at the funeral, as did several family members.. It really was a great time to be together and to tell stories about her, to laugh and cry and remember.

bottom right: I wore her shoes to the funeral. They were her favorite ones (or at least that's what she said to me..) It's a funny thing, to slip into someone else's shoes.. But, I always loved that we wore the same size, and she was always showing off her new purchases to me (and I did the same to her.) I know she would have wanted me to have them and enjoy them, so they live in my closet now :)

I don't know how to end this, other than to say that I miss her. I'm so grateful for the time I was able to spend with my family the past week, as crowded and chaotic as it was at times. I love you all and I know Grama would have been so proud of the party that we threw for her that day.

love love love.

Poolside

pictures taken with instagram

This afternoon, the sun was out and the pool was abandoned.. In the year that I've lived here, I've never actually gone into the pool area.

I don't know why I've waited so long.

While it was a little cool today, I have a feeling in the coming months it's going to become a favorite spot of mine, and I'm so looking forward to spending afternoons there...

Still.. laying by the pool in April? Sort of amazing.

OH. And it's heated. I mean really.

Who Am I?

"I love to write. I want to be a great speaker some day. I have no illusions of having my picture on Time Magazine as speaker of the year, but I want to say things that will give encouragement to those that need encouraging. I want to give hope to those that need hope.

I want to leave others with a smile on their face and make them laugh – either at me or with me.

I want to share my love of family with those that have no family. I want to open minds to ideas and let others see how important friends are, how much I depend on my relationship with my God and how wonderful our world really is if we will just look for the Rainbow instead of the clouds."

That is an excerpt from one of my grandmother's speeches, called "Who Am I?

My dad read this portion of the speech at her funeral today, and my uncle posted the speech in it's entirety on the blog we set up to house poems, memories, stories and speeches about my grandmother or by her.

She was amazing, right?

<3

Do What Makes You Happy

This morning, I was looking through my tumblr dashboard and I came across this photo. What it says resonates with me today. I would probably "like" it any day, but.. today especially, I'm taking those words to heart.

We will all be leaving soon to head to the church to celebrate the life of my grandmother.

I don't know what to expect. I don't know how any of us are going to react.

It's no secret to us that she touched many many lives. And it will be no surprise to walk into a room full of people from far and wide who are all here for her. But, I don' t know what that is going to feel like.

So. We'll just go. We'll just love. We'll just be.

The last email she sent to me, she ended with this:

Have fun. Go Slow. Pray a lot. Find a good church. Enjoy - don't worry about what isn't or try to rearrange what is. Life will come along anyway so just roll.. Love, Gram

Okay. Okay Gram.. Let's roll :)